Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
