Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
