When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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