i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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