I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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