Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
