Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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