Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
