Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
