Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm having to shit out rocks
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