Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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