it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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