I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize