I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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