i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
