There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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