why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
