He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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