69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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