GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You pole danced in your parka.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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