i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
