it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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