did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
