but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
