He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is Oprah even human
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
