I don't think brook has ever known best
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
