Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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