omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
