it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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