Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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