Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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