i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
