We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
