life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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