is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
