Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
