when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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