So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
