do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
