is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
