he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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