They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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