Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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