k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize