Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
