Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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