i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
barbara walters just said penis...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
