I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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