don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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