I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
