Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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