Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
me + whiskey = a bad person
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
