I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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