what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
