Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
