Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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