winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize