Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
