it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
