In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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