So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
