I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
