they need to just BURY HIM!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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