You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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