Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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