How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
